Hi,have you ever wonder if a divorce will affect the child who is sandwiched between the parents?
Having been a teacher for over 20 years, I've seen numerous children affected in many ways by their parents' divorce, both emotionally and academically.
It is unfortunate to learn the fact that children suffer from several stressors when their parents decide to separate or divorce. Knowing that fact alone could become very difficult as children are known to be afraid and will struggle with separation anxiety.
Here are multiple ways in which divorce can affect your child and it's important to know this in order to help your child cope with the changes if divorce cannot be avoided...
Children from divorced families may suffer from reduced contact from one of the parents. In most legal cases of divorce, one parent would have the privilege of child custody.
In some cases, families with multiple children are divided and live with their mother or father respectively. Children from broken families normally focus on the immediate and negative impact of divorce in their lives, assuming that they wouldn’t have comfortable lives anymore.
Children may also have to cope with changes surrounding their home relocation because they need to move from one home to another. They may also have changes in their schools, leaving their old sets of friends while re-establishing a new set of peers in another location.
In worse case scenarios, children might suffer from reduced standard of living or manage some responsibilities that they have not been used to doing. These circumstances on how divorce can affect your child could impinge on them physically, emotionally, psychologically, and socially.
Effects of Divorce on Children
• The effects of divorce on children may vary depending on the age and maturity of children from the broken families. Children between ages 3 and 5 normally lose ground to the highest point of development that they were able to reach. They often suffer from disturbed sleep, heightened fear, and increased level of grief.
• Children between ages 6 and 8 usually grieve quietly, imagining crazy fantasies of getting back their parents together. They struggle with comprehending the fact of divorce, denying that divorce is permanent. Children with these perceptions frequently ask similar questions like “When is my father coming back?”
• Apparently, children between 8 and 11 tend to become very frustrated and angry. It is their way of showing their strong, grieving reaction caused by losing their families that they used to have before. Children within this age bracket are most likely to love one parent while hating the other.
Certainly, divorce is a very hurtful circumstance, bringing about the negative impact not only to the couples, but most especially among their children. The instances on how divorce can affect your child should be managed carefully and properly since divorce is a very delicate issue among blameless children regardless of their age.
By sharing my views that divorce will have on children, I'm not saying that you should never divorce regardless of the situation. Of course, if your marriage could still be saved, that'll definitely be the best scenario. This is provided you still love your husband and vice versa.
However, if you're in an abusive marriage, regardless of physical or emotional abuse, it's in the best interest for both you and your children that you leave the relationship and move on. Abusive relationships will hurt your children more deeply than a divorce would!
To your happiness!
Sheena Mai 🙂