Although research has shown that divorce rates have gone down, it has also found that there is an increasing number of unhappy marriages.
Couples endure an unhappy marriage for a number of reasons but excuses usually include the children or they just hate to admit defeat.
It's unlikely for marriages to die an immediate death, just like the guy in a movie who's shot several times but refuses to die. He'll usually stumble and fall half a dozen times and just when you think he's fallen for the last time, you see him getting up again and reaching out for help.
Many times this describes an unhappy marriage that hurts the husband and wife while they stumble and fall back but manage to hang on for one reason or another, refusing to give up.
Divorce sometimes is a better alternative but only you and your spouse can determine that. If getting a divorce is the decision, the sooner you deal with it the better you’ll become more emotionally stable and able to cope with the situation.
Divorces can be devastating on the entire family, especially if you let them linger before reaching an amiable breakup.
So can divorces be avoided?
There are signs of trouble in marriages and they’re easier to resolve if you spot them early on. Small problems turn into big ones if you let your emotions get out of control. You may have seen some of these signs of trouble before the marriage but didn’t view them as problems.
There is more truth than not in the old saying that love is blind.
You may have married in spite of your better judgment and hoped your partner would change or thought you could work your magic charm and change your spouse. Unfortunately, this rarely happens.
So, what are some of the signs of a troubled marriage?
7 signs that your marriage is in trouble:
1. You no longer have fun with each other.
A good example to describe that is when no matter what you do, you wish you would have stayed at home instead and both of you are miserable even when you're out together.
2. Compliments are rare or non existent.
Neither of you say anything nice about the other anymore. On the contrary, criticisms are on the increase. You can’t seem to do anything right in front of your husband and become afraid to do anything and withdraw.
3. You’re happier when your husband is gone.
The only time you can relax is when he is not at home and you can enjoy being yourself. You start to tense up when you know that your spouse is going to return from work and become a nervous freak around him.
4. You're unhappy to be always the one cleaning up.
Neatness could be a problem if the other is a slob or a person who clutters and never puts anything away. One is always picking up behind the other.
5. Both of you are constantly arguing about money.
This happens when one tries to save and the other spends money frivolously. This can be a major problem if bills go unpaid.
6. You do not feel loved.
A lack of intimacy or sexual activity is a classic example of a lack of love in a marriage. It could also indicate that one or both of you are involved in an affair.
7. Frequent arguments.
You no longer can agree on future goals and refuse to discuss anything beyond tomorrow. Arguments between the two of you seem to be getting more and more frequent, so much so that you do not even wish to communicate anymore.
What do you do next?
If you find that your marriage is in trouble, how do you improve your relationship with your husband?
It's important to understand that the sooner you seek help the better. Marriage problems can cause depression and anger affecting the entire family, so you should watch for these signs of a troubled marriage and resolve to take action early.
Relationships can be one of the most wonderful things in a person’s life if they are healthy and one of the worst things if they are not.
In order to keep a marriage going strong, both of you have to work at it.
5 simple tips to improve your relationship with your husband:
1. Change how you do things
It is always a great feeling to know your significant other inside and out, but sometimes a little change can really spice things up.
By changing something as simple as your dinner routine, weekend routine, or bedroom routine, you will see a big improvement. Every relationship needs excitement sometime or another so try to add that whenever you can.
2. Practice communication skills
This is an important tip for many couples. Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship.
Work on talking to each other as much as possible. If your feelings are hurt, make that known. If you enjoy a particular something that he has done for you, be sure to tell him that. Talk about everything and anything with your partner because this is what allows you to grow.
3. Accept your spouse for who he is
In any relationship there is going to be something that your partner does that drives you crazy. It happens to us all.
By accepting him for who he is, you will make your life less miserable. Remember to weigh out the negative things with the positive. By letting your husband know that you accept him no matter what, you will grow much closer.
4. Spend time together
Life can get busy for us all but it is still very important to spend some time alone with your partner. You want to spend quality time together as much as you can. Maybe you can plan a date night where you put everything to the side, get dressed up, and go out to eat.
Or maybe you want to rent some movies and have a night in cuddling on the couch. You could also arrange for a weekend getaway once a month for just the two of you.
Whatever you decide on, be sure to have a night where you turn off your cell phone, ignore the calls, and just focus on your husband. If you have kids, you may want to arrange for babysitting once a week so that no one disturbs your private time with your spouse.
This is the only way you will continue to get close and grow as a couple.
5. Never stop trying
In many relationships, people get to the point that they just stop trying to please each other. After you have been together for a long time, sometimes it just feels natural that way.
However, this is where many relationships fail. It is always nice to dress up in your partner’s favorite outfit and try to impress him once in a while. Remind them what it is he has loved about you from the start.
So remember to make changes, communicate, practice acceptance, spend time together, and never stop trying. This is how to improve a marriage after all.
By following the simple steps to spice things up with your partner, you just might realize that it is really not that difficult to improve your relationship with your husband!
To your happiness!
Sheena Mai 😉